Tooth, Justice and the American Way

I don't notice their teeth. No one smiles around here (the East Village). - My friend Babs, September 2010

Smile - it improves your face value. - Australian Embassy poster, 1980

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for - Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sager 1982

Me and unknown boys, Australia, circa 1970 - "Look mum, no teeth!"

After brunch today at a local restaurant, I dashed back home to check my photo albums.

I was in a state of shock. Delayed AND current.

I've been to Nina's restaurant many times. It is near the corner of 90th and Second. I like it because it reminds me of restaurants back home in Australia. Mario's on Brunswick Street  Fitzroy, for example. Well not really, but close enough.

I was in shock because while I was sitting there at Nina's I suddenly I realized that I now looked the same as everyone else there, and this had not been the case before. What had changed was that my teeth were now identical to everyone else's. I had AMERICAN teeth. Pearly white and even. Symmetrical. Regular. Shiny. All this since just yesterday and courtesy of my new and brilliant dentist.

Yes, I just got them (the teeth) yesterday, in the form of a temporary bridge that will, eventually, be replaced by six crowns, splinted individually to each adjacent tooth.

I've had dental phobia for as long as I can remember. It was made much worse after I saw Roman Polanski's "The Tenant", where the main character, Trelkowski, played by Polanski, discovers a hole of a hole in his apartment with a human tooth stashed inside. I am by the way, heavily influenced by Polanski, who I regard as the greatest film director ever; I have not been able to eat rabbit since seeing his "Repulsion" when I was a teenager.

Films play a big part in my life when having dental work done in New York. "Repulsion" morphs into "Marathon Man" (set unsettlingly in Manhattan), which morphs into "The Tenant". You can see then, I'm a real basket-case where dentistry is concerned.

Australian Actor, Bryan Brown

But back to my American teeth. The dentist did a wonderful job, but I can barely cope. Where are my crooked, stained and crowded, my over-repaired and fragile Aussie teeth? Gone, as a matter of necessity. The products of no fluoride in the water of my childhood, hopeless state-school dentists in my early school years, smoking,  and a couple of weird Harley Street London dentists in the 1970s, who I think were getting revenge on Australia's bid for republicanism. Whatever.

So here I am in Manhattan, 100 years later. With a new smile. Well, new teeth - I  do not show my teeth when I smile.

And that is my reason for my hurrying home from Nina's Restaurant after brunch this morning. I wanted to check on this.

Do I really not show my teeth when I smile? And what about my fellow Australians?

Above left  is a photo of myself a century ago. I'm with some boys that my friend B and I decided to use for a photo. Look Mom (mum), no teeth!

Julia Gillard, Prime Minister

But it isn't just me and my friends and strangers. Here is Australian actor, Bryan Brown. And Australia Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. And Australian actress Nicole Kidman.

Hmmm,  I might be onto something here. Perhaps I could write an article for a   pop-psychology magazine. Why don't Australians open their mouths when photographed?

In any case, ever since I dared to get up this morning I've been running to a mirror to practice smiling with a teeth-exposed smile.

An American face grimaces back.

Scary.

Australian Actor, Nicole Kidman

I obviously have a lot still to learn .

Meanwhile, I'll keep smiling ...