Dingle Dangle Jingle Jangle

Hampstead Heath, UK 100 Years Ago

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me
I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me
In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you. Bob Dylan 1964

"We have free dongles," the voice on the other end of the phone Midland-drawled.

It (the voice, not the dongle) belonged to the owner of the sole computer store in Buxton, Peak District,  Derbyshire, England, UK,  Earth,  Solar System, Milky Way, the Universe, as we used to write in the pre-texting olden days when I was at school.

So that's what I will do to get on the internet when I vacation in Buxton next month.  Of the solutions I wrote about in "Opposable Thumbs" I have chosen the dongle aka (in polite circles) as mobile broadband USB stick.

I am going to Buxton to meet up with my old friend D, who I have known since we were both 14.

I nearly called the trip off, after another old friend, Maggie, referred me to a new dentist. I had decided that I needed a new dentist as my old one had reached his use-by date.

Maggie is a great source of information. My new dentist is a Manhattan celebrity dentist. I will not make you jealous by disclosing who I have met in the waiting room.

American Dongle in a Condom-Like Wrapper

Not that one spends much time in his waiting-room. This dentist is punctuality itself. And he even has his own currency. The base unit is "the crown" which is worth $1,700 at the current exchange rate.

Yes, there is nothing but the best for Maggie's friends. When I told her I'd have to spend 20 crowns on my teeth in the next 24 months, her response was, "At least you won't have to spend so much money on clothes; I understand he's nowhere NEAR Saks."

Did I ever tell you that Maggie is a very intelligent woman?

But I do her an injustice - there really IS a logic behind her recommending my new dentist. Maggie logic.

Maggie's reasoning is based on my past post-dental behavior. My old dentist's rooms (omg, I'm sounding English already and I haven't even arrived there) were in the Rockefeller Building on Fifth Avenue almost opposite Saks. Whenever I go the a dentist I need nitrous oxide to relax me, as I tend to worry about the cost. Nitrous oxide has a weird side effect on me. I become a compulsive shopper for four hours after its administration.

This has made dental visits very pleasant. Nitrous oxide and lots of clothes. What more can a girl want?

So Maggie chose for my new dentist, a man whose rooms are in the dead midtown of Manhattan. Not a clothes shop in site.

Such a thoughtful woman is Maggie.

Maggie also lives in England. Perhaps we'll be able to meet up there. She lives near Bath. I suspect this is because she has a crush on Mr Darcy.

But back to traveling and dongles. On my way to work today I got to thinking about my upcoming trip. I wondered how many times I have been to England. And I had no idea. I know it is more than one and less that ten times. But that's as close as I can get.

Thinking about this tonight I had a traveler's epiphany. The definition of a well-traveled woman is one who has no idea how many countries she has visited how many times.

I am world-traveler Kathleenwng and I approve this message.