The reply came from Anchorage, Alaska

"I want you to understand something. We are not subject to city, state or federal regulations. We are omnipotent."

"We don't care and we don't have to! Because we are the phone company!"

From "One RingyDingy" - Lily Tomlin

"But her reply came from Anchorage, Alaska"

From "Anchorage", Michelle Shocked

I don't understand phone companies.

Although phone companies in the U.S. are a trillion times better than those in Australia (calling Telstra in Australia has been known to cause nervous breakdowns, and for perfectly normal people to suddenly run out and buy polyester), there's no point in damning them with faint praise.

A couple of weeks ago, whenever I called overseas, I'd get an overseas number answering OK. But not the correct overseas number. Not even the correct country, although I must admit, the planet was correct.

I'd dial the number of a friend in Australia and get a politically correct Canadian voice of a sex somewhere between male and female, informing me in two languages (note not Inuit or Métis) that the number I was dialing did not exist. Il n'existe pas! I'd try another friend - I'm not fussy. I'm a New Yorker. I'll talk to anyone.

But it wasn't to be. I'd get hooked up with Cuba, Bosnia, anywhere where I didn't have friends.

So ... I decided that I needed to call the CUSTOMER SERVICE of my phone provider. I tried to prepare myself. I poured a wine and drank it, and poured another. Was I up to it? Probably not but I gave it a go.

The on-hold time was a bit long, even for a seasoned New Yorker like me. As well, how did I know that the number I had dialed was the number I had dialed? Plus I really wasn't up to listening to an answer in Swahili, let alone to being connected to the U. K.

An email. I'd try email. Which I did.

The answer came back ... in English.

Dear Kathleen Juliff,

Thank you for contacting Vonage Customer Care.

It can be upsetting when you are calls to Australia are routing incorrectly

kathleen [sic] , please know that we regret your dissatisfaction with the brief service issue. As this is happening on International calls, it seems that the issue is with the International partner carriers who are routing the calls outside Vonage network. As informed earlier, our Call processing team is still investigating this issue (ticket # 24367252). So please wait for
another couple of days while we resolve it for you. You will be notified by
phone/email once this ticket is resolved.

Thanks for your patience and co-operation in this regard.

Thanks for contacting us.

A couple of days to resolve phone connectivity? I didn't think so. So I wrote back:

I cannot understand this cavalier response. Yes it can be "upsetting when
calls are incorrectly routed.

I note that you still charge me when your system doesn't work.

It should be irrelevant to the consumer as to how you implement your system.
Blaming your 'partner carriers' is of no help to me.

And I do not call several days 'brief',

K JULIFF

And received:

Dear K Juliff,

It can be upsetting when you are unable to make international calls on your Vonage phone.

Kathleen, I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. We have already escalated this issue to the concerned department through Ticket # 24371584. This issue is specifically under the review of higher hierarchy. It would be dealt diligently to resolve this issue. Once we have resolved this issue, you will be notified by email, please give us 24-48 business hours. Thank you for sparing your valuable time regarding this matter.

Thanks for contacting us.
xxx

What's with the "higher hierarchy"? Bizarre! When I was younger I would have persevered. If email had been around back then, I would have certainly responded. But they would not have answered the smoke signals either.

What's the point? What was the point?

And after all, it isn't really so bad. At least I had connectivity. What's so bad about getting Cuba or a province of Bavaria when you dial Australia? At least someone answers.

I should count myself lucky.

Stay tuned ...