Me, I romp and stomp,
Thankful as I romp,
Without freedom of speech,
I might be in the swamp.
©Bob Dylan, Motorpsycho Nightmare 1964Thankful as I romp,
Without freedom of speech,
I might be in the swamp.
As the world evolves, so do we. Yet we remain driven by our passion for inventing solutions to solve important problems, perfecting those solutions and delighting our customers.
from "About Intuit" 2009
Stage
I'd decided to buy my bro in OZ a Christmas present. Well that's not quite right. I discovered the present first and then thought of my brother. The present - Bob Dylan's latest album - "Christmas in the Heart".
Years ago my brother committed himself to providing family Christmas dinner, for ever. This was in exchange for something-or-other that I've conveniently forgotten. And every year, before he gets around to cooking the curry (yes, that's what Juliff people eat on Christmas Day), and setting up the manger of baby Jesus and the three wise marsupials in the fireplace, he puts on some obscure music. Deliberately.
Something like "Bulgarian folk songs of 1923" or "Christmas at Stalingrad, 1956". "Yeah, where'd you get that?" comes one of those polite Australian questions. We are a nation of polite, if of nothing else. Sensitivity is our strong point. Just ask Red Symons, Daryl Somers or Harry Connick Jnr.
"Op shop", replies Tim, as he pours another beer.
I don't know what was Dylan's album prior to "Christmas in the Heart", but I DO know that Bob has not cleared his throat since then. "Christmas in the Heart" is truly dreadful. I don't even like his rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy", a favorite of mine ever since my son was four and sang it at a kindergarten concert.
Anyway, I thought I'd play the album before I sent it off to OZ. Good background music to working on my PC maybe. I needed to do my finances and to update Intuit's Quicken on my laptop. I put it on.
And so there I was, at my computer, converting my 2009 Quicken files to the latest Quicken format. "And so they told him, [cough cough] barrupa [cough] dum ..."
And then - the blue screen of death! I was forced to reboot my laptop - no easy task as it docks into a docking station and so must be un-docked when it crashes. And for me, un-docking and then re-docking it is almost as hard as calling Network Solutions customer service. I am spatially dyslexic.
On the third crash I decide to call Intuit, the makers of the Quicken software. I'd just paid $120 for the latest version, surely I was entitled to support. "Press 1 for support", "press 2 for problems". "Press 3 for " ... I was starting to think I was back at my Tai Chi class. "Put you left head over your right knee and ward off right." But I got there - to the point of asking a question where upon I was told to go to a webpage and click on the "phone me back button". Dial tone. So I did. Go to the webpage, that is. The button was disabled.
Ha Ha, some of my best friends are Indian. Or they were...
I actually kept the transcript of my session with Shraddha. But I won't post it here as it needs the soundtrack of Dylan singing "Santa Baby" to be fully appreciated.
It started well enough though. I'd put in my details, operating system - XP, Quicken version, description of problem, my name rank and serial number and so on. There was a wait time of seven minutes. I waited. Bob sang a few more raspy songs. And then -
Here is the beginning of something that only had downhill to go.
Shraddha: Welcome to Quicken chat support. My name is Shraddha. Please give me a moment while I review the info you provided. [160 seconds pass]
Kathleen Juliff: As I said, I do not want to keep this product as it crashes my computer. Can I downgrade to a more stable version?
Shraddha: Hi Kathleen
Shraddha: I apologize for the delay in getting connected to one of us. Currently, we are experiencing a spike in chat volumes; however I'll try my best to answer your question in the least possible time. [a further 3 minutes pass]
Kathleen Juliff: Well I asked the question and am still waiting
Shraddha: You are using Win XP, correct?
Kathleen Juliff: Yes. You HAVE that info. Please don't not ask me if you have the answer already. [long pause untimed]
Kathleen Juliff: I do not want to keep this product as it crashes my computer. Can I downgrade to a more stable version?
Shraddha:: I am sorry for that, I was just confirming the issue
Kathleen Juliff: No need. Please don't answer with apologies. ...
Shraddha: Yes
Kathleen Juliff: Yes what?
And so on. All with Bob in the background. I'm not sure which was worse, Dylan or ... yes, I'm sure. Dylan was. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I try to remember another side of Bob Dylan. What was it that he sang?
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
You can say that again!
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
My name is Kathleenwg and I approve this message.
1 comment:
Ah, Quicken. We too have a love/hate relationship, but lately it's all hate. I ran Quicken for my PC for over 10 years and, he says modestly, rather proficiently. It kept track of everything and my wife learned to use it and keep track of our stuff.
Wha' happen? I get a Mac and buy the Mac software. It sucks. And on't get me started on the Inyuit help desk. I love cricket, my doctor is an Indian, but their sick Help Desk is tooooo polite for words. Almost turns me off the whole outsource thingo.
The Quicken for mac is the worst software i've ever tried. We bagged Quicken for evah, and now keep track on Xcell, which also drives me nuts 'cause i am not an accountant or really an engineer.
Thumbs down on Intuit. I'm even thinking of dropping Turbo Tax. So there, you a holes!
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