You Know You've Been in America Too Long When

Don't people think you CAN been in America too long? There's all sorts of lists - "You Know You've Been in Sweden Too Long", "You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long", "You Know You've Been in Germany Too Long" ... but when I Googled "You Know You've Been in America Too Long " nothing came up.

I will fill the gap. Here is my personal, "You Know You've Been in America Too Long", as well as ... well read on ...

You know you've been in America too long when
you don't know the name of the French President.
if you DO know the name of the French President, you cannot pronounce it.
you go to the bathroom when you aren't having a bath or shower or brushing your teeth.
you don't get surprised when the flight attendant announces, "we will be landing momentarily".
you don't get surprised when the landing-momentarily-plane takes another 90 minutes circling while waiting to land.
you say, "You're welcome" instead of "ta", "no worries" or "prego".
you think $600 per month is cheap for health insurance.

You know you've been in New York too long when
You organize to go to social engagements when you intend to cancel.
You only wear white between Memorial Day and Labor Day
You give your hair stylist a $20 tip and think nothing of it.
You say "hair stylist" instead of "hairdresser".
You don't even notice that people use the F-word as much as Australians use 'bloody'.
You NEVER say "ta", "prego" or "you're welcome".

You know you've been in America far far too long when
You don't even know that France has a president.
You think CNN is a left wing tv station
You know that a dime is five cents.
You use the phrases, "It's my dime" and "Don't nickel and dime me".
You know it's time to get out of Dodge.

It's time to get out of Dodge!